Foolish Oats



What a roar. What a ruckus. What a succulent little beastie you are. Hiding behind rocks, in amongst strangers as they wait for their morning train. Snaking through manes and whispering to ghosts. Bearing down like a hammer, searching for its nail. X marks the spot. Where you go when you aren’t here and where you stay when you have found home is as clear as fog clinging to the water. Sending shivers down the backs of bare legs, frozen fumbling fingers clasping coat collars tighter. Rain and sleet are your dearest friends. Snowflakes fool themselves into believing they need your guidance to execute a safe landing. Summer days long for your touch, the sun kissing at the clouds; a coquette seducing her suitor. Winter nights need no invitation as barren trees let you howl through their branches, crackling gnarled bark against knotted joints. Hiding from the full moon, seeking the shade under the bow of an aged oak tree. You pick up the taste of syrup as it drips from the maple trees, douse yourself in rich colour as you rush past the blue of the bay. Buried. Buried. Buried. You cannot be submerged. 

Why You Should Watch the Miranda Hart Show

Miranda Hart is by far the funniest, self-aware comedienne (ohhh, how I hate that word) from the UK today. Miranda’s character, conveniently also named Miranda, is the owner of a joke shop and compulsively trying to avoid her mother Penny’s obsessive fixation on finding her a man. (In one episode Miranda goes as far as Coming Out to her family and friends, only to find the man her mother wanted to set her up with may not have been so bad after all). After binge watching the first two seasons on Hulu for free, I know without a shadow of a doubt that it is my mission to spread the good word of Miranda to anyone who may listen. Here are three reasons why you should watch Miranda.

1: Bad Bitches. While it may not pass the Bechdel Test on first glance, what with all the talk amongst the female characters primarily focused on Miranda’s tragic love life, upon closer inspection there is a wealth of moments of female friendship. One episode, though a male psychiatrist is present, is focused solely around Miranda and Penny’s relationship. Miranda’s best friend and manager of said joke shop is Stevie, and their daily dose of personal-and-professional balance shows women in competition, women working together, and women’s abilities to get over their hang ups and stand united against incessantly energetic 22-year-olds who peg them for 40.

2: Middle Class Upbringing. Although Miranda abhors her middle class upbringing and boarding school background (often cited as the reason she can’t stand nudity, can’t say the word “sex” out loud, or maintain composure around men in general) it is often the source of some of the funniest jokes in the show. Miranda’s mother Penny is typically the source of these punchlines, and along with boarding school chum Tilly, the entire dynamic of middle class social etiquette is shoved under a microscope.

3: Slapstick. I don’t know how often you watch people unwittingly getting hit in the face with a garden hose’s stream, or see someone trip when they were meant to be gliding gracefully along the sidewalk, but these are the moments that stir a quiet evil within me. Watching people fall down (I literally typed this and began laughing) brings many of us great joy. The Germans probably have an apt and mutli-syllabic term for such things. Miranda (and, it turns out, her father) are incredibly klutzy, clumsy people. Based on a high intake of cinematic images of femme fatales sweeping callously out of hotel lobbies, Miranda is often tripping over her own desire to communicate with gestures and movement. Instead, thanks to strategically placed coat racks and her own uncooperative two feet, she is often stuck with words she can barely bring herself to mouth softly.

While there are many other reasons to devote your next day and a half to Miranda Hart’s impeccable writing and performance, I’ll leave you with these three. Tell you what, watch it for free on Hulu, and pop back to let me know what you think. Deffo amaziona, oui oui? Bear with.

“ You’re not a kid anymore. You have the right to choose your own life. You can start again. If you want a cat, all you have to do is choose a life in which you can have a cat. It’s simple. It’s your right. ”

—    Haruki Murakami, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle (via hollowstimulation)

(via agentlewoman)

“ We don’t learn to love each other well in the easy moments. Anyone is good company at a cocktail party. But love is born when we misunderstand one another and make it right, when we cry in the kitchen, when we show up uninvited with magazines and granola bars, in an effort to say, I love you. ”

—    Shauna Niequist, Bread & Wine: A Love Letter to Life Around the Table, with Recipes  (via thatkindofwoman)

(via planstobesurprised)